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I.
OPINION
II. EDUCATION
by Douangdeuane Douangdara by Douangdeuane Douangdara by Douangdeuane Douangdara
by Montha Phavongxay by Check Kirivong by Douangchit Mounghane
by Anonymous by Von PhrakonKham by Check Kirivong by Douangdeuane Douangdara by Von PhrakonKham
by Douangdeuane Douangdara by Von PhrakonKham by Von PhrakonKham by Douangdeuane Douangdara by Sounantha Phoumarath
by Von PhrakonKham
by Douangchit Mounghane
by Montha Phavongxay by Douangchit Mounghane |
By Check Kirivong
With uneasiness in her voice my mom asked, "Why do you want to move so far away? Are there not any jobs nearby? Why do you want to move away from us?"
To which I reply respectfully without falling trap to my mom's guilt induction, "Doay (politely yes), there are jobs in the Charlotte area; however, the opportunity is not as great as I would like."
I continue to explain to my parents of my decision to move from Charlotte, NC to Los Angeles, California being selective in choosing my words carefully as not to
further upset my parents, especially Mom. You see, I am the only one out
of three children that live in close proximity to my parents, an hour and
fifteen minutes from Charlotte to Spartanburg, SC to be exact. My brother
and sister have flown far from the nest years ago. Not unlike most, my Mom
found it hard to come to terms that all of her children will be far from
the safety of her nest."I have accomplished the goals that I have set for my career here and the time has now come for me to build upon the experiences I have gained," I stated while avoiding eye contact.
My dad inquisitively asked again and with haste, "Are there absolutely no companies nearby where you can find what you're looking for?"
"Baw me (no, there are none), I have looked. I am making this move to foster long-term career growth as well as personal growth. It's not just about my career opportunities. It's about having the lifestyle I always wanted," I stated without hesitation as so to squash once and for all my parents' hopes of a miracle job that would keep me within a two hour driving radius of them.
"Why Los Angeles and not Washington DC with your brother and sister? I like DC!" Mom exclaimed.
Pausing before I answered, I glanced up at my parents and I saw that they were in deep contemplation. I completely blindsided them with my news. I thought to myself, 'Just when they have started to adjust to my sister moving out of the house, I gave them another hard blow, a one-two combination right to the stomach.' I started to feel really bad. I can see that they were shocked and upset. I gathered myself and broke the silence before they could get another question out.
Fumbling a bit through my Laotian, I stated, "I am no longer happy where I am at; I have outgrown my current surrounding. I need a change of scenery and think that LA would suite me better."
Out of the corner of my eye I can see my Dad shake his head up and down in a gesture of understanding. At this point I knew that my parents, at least my Dad is starting to warm up to my decision. Not that I needed their approval to move, but it was sure nice to see some semblance of support.
"My decision is about you two as well," I confidently stated. "How so?" my mom quickly replies.
"You two have made unbelievable sacrifices for all three of us children. Dad you were a professional back in Laos with a promising career, and Mom you always dreamed of opportunities you never had because you were too busy taking care of your ten brothers and sisters." At this point a hard lump started to form in my throat. Pausing a little to compose myself and then with both pride and passion I uttered, "We came to this new country and all you two could get is back-laboring entry-level jobs and through all the hardship you two managed to support our family and our education in every way possible. It would not be right for me to stay just so we can be near each other. It would defeat every purpose."
In a reconciled tone my Mom asked, "Will you not miss us?"
"Doay, of course" I replied.
Our discussion went on for hours that day and continued off and on for the next three months until I finally moved New Years Eve 2002. I guess the point of my sharing this personal story is that I found myself at odds with my surrounding and at the same time, out of tune with my goals. Like most immigrants, my parents sought a better life for their children. They wanted to give us opportunities that they have only dreamt and heard about. Moving away conflicts with our culture and my poor parents must be thinking that their children are acculturating into "mainstream" American society too quickly and conversely just as quickly, losing touch with our traditional Laotian heritage. We owe it to our family and ourselves to make the best of the opportunities that have been fought so hard for and at the same time not loose sight of who and where we came from.
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